Friday, December 26, 2014
Search me, O God, and know my heart. I've always seen that as a bit of a threat. Too invasive. But it's taken on a different meaning entirely. Search me, O God. Examine me, O God. Like a doctor examines his patient. Know my heart. Discover the disease that eats away at my quality of life! Know the burden I feel. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. Test me, quiz me. Check my symptoms. Listen to my concerns and my worries about what is going wrong. See if there be any evil way in me. Reveal to me where I am going wrong, where I am crippling myself. Identify my sin and wrongdoing. Lead me in the way everlasting. Lead me to the cure. Teach me the correct path, the different method.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Honestly, some days I wonder if I'm not related to a mouse. Fear keeps me tucked away in my hole in the wall. There's not very likely going to be a cat out there. But there could be, right? So here I stay. Meanwhile, everyone else in the world seems to be having a grand time. Or maybe that's just the lie of social media--everyone just LOOKS like they're having a good time. But back to me. I'm not saying that the reason I often am at home is because I'm afraid. That's just because I love my home. These thoughts originated from a movie I watched today in which the main character made a vow to say, "Yes!" to everything (not the greatest movie, however). But I guess that made me think for a moment. How many things am I saying, 'no' to simply because I'm afraid? Could it be possible that I am closing doors that Christ has opened because I do not trust him to take care of me? And how much am I missing out on by just being passive? By neither saying, "yes" or "no" and just not doing anything? Will I live my life to the fullest that Christ would have me to do? Yes. Yes, I will.